4.5 Smooches
Synopsis
I don’t know what I was thinking when I hired someone to attack me. Maybe I was bored, or lonely, or there was a void so deep inside of me that I needed something explosive to fill it.
It was supposed to be safe. A thrill. A way to break through the monotony of everyday life. It was an illusion of danger that I could walk away from as soon as it was over.
Except that it wasn’t. Because I had been in danger long before I ever invited it into my life.
———————
My mission is almost complete. The bubbling boil of vengeance that heats my blood might finally simmer.
She is the last piece of the puzzle. Once I destroy her, everyone who ever hurt me will have paid their debt.
It was supposed to be quick and easy, but as soon as I met her it got complicated.
Very complicated.
Review
“I can’t help but smile a little when she dances. She’s so carefree right now. She thinks she’s safe. But she doesn’t understand that tonight is the night she dies.”
OK, some one tell me WTF I just read! Was not expecting all that! Debt by Nina G. Jones is a crazy, intense, suspenseful plot twisting kind of a book that once you start you will not be able to put down! I have so many feelings about this book that I am not even sure how to decipher all of them, I went through a range of emotions reading this from giddy, to hate, anger, delight, confusion and when all was done I was just in shock that sweet Nina just wrote what I read!
“Reckless. Irresponsible. Dirty. Dangerous. Exhilarating. Erotic. Wild. Euphoric. How can one thing be all of those. How can peering into the gutter of my soul feel like I just touched heaven.”
How does one sign up to be fake raped you wonder . . . well through a referral from a friend of course. There are parts of this book that will have you saying this is not possible or believable because this stuff does not happen in real life, just remember that this is fiction and anything is possible. Mia has a secret fantasy that only her best friend knows about . . . to be sexually attacked. On the outside Mia is sweet, kind and appears to be a completely normal human but on the inside she yearns for some sort of sexual deviancy. So when her best friend refers her to an agency that specializes in rape for hire Mia is intrigued but determined not to do it. She battles between what she wants and what she thinks is right.
“I think I made a huge mistake. A terrible, amazing, unforgettable mistake.”
When her curiosity gets the better of her and she finds herself checking out the website and subsequently signing up she convinces herself that she will use the safe word the moment her attacker appears. That is till the time comes and Tax is there. Tax is on a vendetta and is determined to make all those who somehow hurt him and his twin sister pay. The last person on his list is Mia and when he find outs (and trust me he finds everything out, the man would get an A+ in stalking 101) about the service Mia has signed up for he uses this as his moment to step in and collect the debt he feels she owes him. But when the moment is here instead of taking her life he takes her body!
“Don’t fucking act like you don’t like this shit Mia. I know you want someone to dirty you up. I’ll make you fucking filthy.”
So, all of that crazy craziness goes down in just the first 10% of the book so you can only imagine what the rest of this story is like. For quite a while I was very confused about Tax and his motives. Trying to figure out what Mia’s debt was had me very anxious just to get to the next page and once you do find out you are so ingrained in these two you want to see if there is anyway possible to get to some sort of an HEA (not that I am promising one.) The things Tax has done in the name of vengeance are to me unforgiveable but I am not Mia so I tried throughout the book to remember that Mia is a hurt and yes somewhat weak girl.
“Tears pour out of my eyes as I lament over my desire for this despicable human being.”
Mia has lost both her parents and is an only child so I can somewhat understand her desire to be desired and in Tax she has found someone who gets off on the same kinds of things she has been secretly desiring for a long time. With him she finds acceptance for who she is even when he is making it clear that he hates her and that he is only using her for the debt she owes she is still drawn to him and the power he can hold over her. In a way him having that power turns her on even more.
“Don’t convince yourself that you can play mind games with me, because you will lose. Every. Single. Fucking. Time.”
Tax is mean and cruel and yet even I find him incredibly sexy. Nina has write a wonderfully complex character that you love then hate yourself for loving. He is more than happy to comply in the gritty and raw sexual fantasies that Mia has. But at time same time between glimpses into his past and hearing his point of view you come to learn that he is more sensitive and caring than he will ever fully let on. The relationship between these two is very complex and impossible to wrap up in one review.
“He won’t let me get that close. Because he hates me. Well, these days, I hate me too.”
While I have read several dark books and books with topics such as rape, abuse and degradation are not typically my thing and I often pass on these books while deciding which books I am personally going to review. Originally I was going to give this book to one of the reviewers I have but on a whim I decided to read it myself and while these are still topics I don’t personally find sexy the story was gripping and very well written and I am very happy to have read it!
~miranda
