Synopsis

Stella Ciaramitaro spent the last year battling a disease that tried to take her life…and take her away from her four crazy, pain-in-the-butt sisters, occasionally suicidal father, and career as an Emergency Room nurse. Stella’s disease wreaked a lot of havoc, leaving her with visible and invisible scars, but she’s hanging in there. Doing just fine, actually.

Or she was until HE showed up.

Nathan Drazek is a mess and he knows it. A childhood full of mental and physical abuse, four tours in Afghanistan, and ten years policing one of the toughest beats in East Cleveland have left him aloof and nearly incapable of interpersonal relationships. But that’s okay, because Nathan isn’t interested in anything more than just getting by.

Or he wasn’t until SHE showed up.

From the moment Nathan nearly arrests Stella, sparks fly, limits are tested, and boundaries are shattered. A tenuous, tender friendship quickly evolves into something powerfully passionate they cannot wish away or control. As they grow closer, new issues arise and old hurts resurface, threatening to destroy their fragile new beginning.

With everything at stake, Nathan and Stella must ultimately decide which runs deeper: their scars or their love.

Note from the Author

Hi, everybody!  Here’s a little intro for the bonus scene you’re about to read…

I want start out by giving a *Spoiler Alert* here:

If you haven’t read All of Me yet, but plan to – please be forewarned that this bonus scene contains a few spoilers.

Now, someone I love dearly (most of the time) – ahem, my editor – was more than a little disappointed with the lack of Nathan and Stella make-up sex at the end of All of Me.  And, so, for her reading pleasure, and yours, here it is!

This scene takes place two weeks after the last chapter of All of Me, but about 4.5 months before the epilogue.  Nathan and Stella are enjoying their very hard-earned Happily Ever After, but something is missing…

Bet you can guess what it is (since I just told you a paragraph ago). 😉

Because brevity is not my strong suit, the first part of this section appeared on Scandalcious Book Reviews and the final section will appear on Ripe for Reader.  Please make sure to check them out!
~Gina

Bonus Scene

Nathan pulled her up into his arms and Stella instinctively wrapped her arms around his neck and her legs around his waist.  His hands squeezed her ass hard, wiping the grin right off her face.

When Stella tried to kiss him again, Nathan gripped her chin – halting her – and stared deep into her eyes.  “I’m not thinking about anything except getting you on that bed and getting inside of you…about fucking you harder than you’ve ever been fucked before.  It’s all I’ve thought about since the last time I fucked you and you know it, you little smart-ass tease.”

Stella stared back at him, once again getting totally lost in his soulful eyes.  “Then do it, Nathan…please…” she whispered, caressing the side of his face.  Her breath caught when he turned his head and kissed the backs of her fingers tenderly.  “Whatever’s been bothering you – can you let it go, just a little while?  For me?”  Nathan turned back to face her, his eyes stormy.  “Because I love you so much and I need you so badly?”

“I need you too, Stella.”  Nathan swallowed hard a few times.  “Shit, I need you so fucking bad…but I…”  He paused again, brows slightly furrowed and his lips pressed into a hard line.

It was his I-want-to-tell-you-something-but-I-don’t-know-how-or-physically-can’t face.  And, while normally Stella would have been all about coaxing it out of him slowly or trying to back off a little to give him some space to express it in his own time (assuming his own time was reasonably close to ASAP), she was way too revved up and desperate for him to engage in that kind of dance right now.

“Just come here and let me love you,” she breathed out before knocking his grip on her chin loose and wrapping her hand around the back of his neck.  With a good, hard yank, she pulled their mouths together – each of them groaning into the other’s when their tongues finally collided.

Stella sucked at his tongue and bit down gently before releasing it so she could suck at it again.  She moved her lips against his mouth, open-mouth kissing both of his lips and then licking at the top one and biting at the bottom one.  But she didn’t release that bite right away, slowly rearing back – his lower lip stuck between her teeth, her eyes squarely on his – until, with a guttural growl, Nathan pulled his lip free and went after hers – nipping, sucking, and licking as feverishly as Stella had done to him.

A few more steps into the bedroom landed them at the side of the bed, where Nathan slowly lowered Stella onto her back before positioning himself directly on top of her.

“Oh, shit…” Nathan bounced back up, sliding a knee beside each of her hips and straddling her.  His eyes quickly scanned her entire midsection as his hand rested against her belly.  Nathan started feeling around, looking for what, Stella could only guess.  “Did I crush the baby?”  He met her gaze, his own full of concern.  “I pressed right into her…I forgot.”  Nathan grabbed at the back of his neck, head shaking.  “And then there’s your chest…”  He blew out a hard breath.  “I can’t believe I did that, Stella.  I am so sorry.”

Stella smiled up at him.  “Nathan, sweetheart, I’m fine.  The baby is fine.  She’s in a nice, well-insulated amniotic sac.  A momentarily weight like that – hell, even a prolonged one – wouldn’t harm her in the slightest.”  She reached for him.  “Now come back here…”

Not surprisingly, he didn’t comply.

“It’s just…”  Nathan cleared his throat.  “…I’ve never had sex with a pregnant woman before.”

“Well, I should hope not!” Stella shot back, laughing.  She winked at him.  “Although with your rather extensive past, I guess it was possible there might have been a previously knocked-up woman or two in the mix.  I will say – for purely jealousy-based reasons – I’m glad there wasn’t.  I am very happy to be your first in that particular department, at least.”  Stella squeezed both of his knees.  “Now come down here so you can add ‘pregnant lady’ to your list of conquests.”

Nathan’s expression hardened.

Stella closed her eyes and exhaled a long suffering sigh, because she knew that face, too.  That was his you-are-not-taking-this-matter-seriously-enough face.

She opened her eyes and met his.  “Nathan.  What did Dr. Kent say today?”
“It’s not about that, Stella.  Or at least most of it’s not.  I…”  He swallowed hard a few times, staring down into her face.  “I’m just not sure…”  Nathan braced his hands on his thighs, head shaking.  “I…”

Stella propped herself up on her elbows.  “Nathan, honey, what is it?  I need you to tell me.  Please.  Because whatever it is has been eating you alive the past two weeks, which means it’s been ripping my heart out and shredding it into a million pieces.  So, please, just tell me.  So we can talk it out, okay?”  She extended her hand and, after a brief hesitation, Nathan took it and held it tightly.

Stella ran her thumb over his knuckles, holding his eyes.  “If we’re going to make this work, you’re going to have to trust me with your feelings,” she said softly. She pulled his hand to her lips and kissed it before pressing it to her cheek.  “I love you…no matter what.  So please tell me why you’re hurting.”

Nathan swallowed hard several times before saying, “I feel…”

“You feel…”  Stella searched his eyes.  “Worried?”

He shrugged.

“Scared?”

He shrugged.

“Angry?”

He shook his head.

Stella grinned.  “Horny?”

Nathan scoffed.  “Yeah, but I always feel that way when you’re within a fifty mile radius.”

Her smile faded.  “Sad?”

He paused.  “Yeah, that.  A little, I guess.”

“What do you feel sad about?”

Nathan shrugged again.  “It’s not so much sad, as maybe…”  He clenched his teeth so tight Stella could see muscles jumping up and down his jaw line.  Nathan cleared his throat and swallowed.  “I don’t know…”  He met Stella’s eyes.  “…guilt, I guess.  Maybe.  About…everything.”

“What, everything?”

When his only response was to continue staring into her eyes, Stella pushed harder.  “You mean about what happened when I told you I was pregnant?”

He winced.  “That…and everything else.”

“Your three month self-imposed exile?” Stella asked, lips curling.

“Yeah.  That.”  Nathan’s pained expression faded her smile.  “Especially that,” he said quietly.

Stella squeezed his hand.  “But we’ve already talked about that, honey – at the hospital and more than once since then.  I understood what was behind your behavior when you were doing it and I forgave you for it then.  And I forgive you for it now, Nathan.  You know that.  So why are you still beating yourself up about it?”

“Because I can’t stop thinking about what could have happened to you – and the baby – when I wasn’t around!”  Nathan gripped at the back of his neck again and exhaled a hard breath.  “I keep imagining all the horrible shit that could have happened, everything that could have gone wrong – just because I was too much of a fucked-up, irresponsible, stupid asshole to take care of you both like I was supposed to.”

“Nathan…”

“No, Stella.  It’s not right.  It’s not fair.”

“What isn’t fair?”

“Me having you.  The baby.  Happiness.  This.”  He shook his head.  “It’s not right.  Not after what I did.  Not after what I put you through.  I don’t deserve it.”

Stella scoffed loudly, which made Nathan’s brows drop in the most amusing of ways.  “Wanna know what I don’t think is right?  Or fair?  Me not getting laid for four months, that’s what!  That’s what I don’t deserve!”  When Nathan’s eyes widened, she nodded.  “Yeah, that’s right, you heard me!  Honestly, Nathan, I couldn’t give a shit about any of that stuff in the past.  You had deep-seated psychological reasons for reacting the way you did, you eventually found your way and apologized, and I forgave you.  What I’m getting real pissed about and what I might not be able to forgive you for is not…”  Stella air quoted.  “…fucking me harder than I’ve ever been fucked before!  Now that’s something I could really hold a grudge about!”

When Nathan just gaped at her, Stella gesticulated wildly.  “I don’t care about the shit you pulled, I don’t care about the fucking chest wound I am currently recovering from, and I sure as hell don’t care that you’re all freaked out about screwing a pregnant lady!  All I want is for you to do exactly what you told me you wanted to do – right here, right now!  Before I lose my frickin’ mind!”

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