4 Smooches
Synopsis
Before you knew him as Trent in Ten Tiny Breaths, he was Cole Reynolds—and he had it all. Until one night when he makes a fatal, wrong decision…and loses everything.
When a drunken night out at a Michigan State college party results in the death of six people, Cole must come to terms with his part in the tragedy. Normally, he’d be able to lean on his best friends—the ones who have been in his life since he could barely walk. Only, they’re gone. Worse, there’s the shattered body of a sixteen-year-old girl lying somewhere in a hospital bed, her entire life ripped from her because of a case of beer and a set of keys.
Everyone assures him that they know it wasn’t intentional, and yet he can’t ignore the weight of their gazes, the whispers behind his back. Nor can he shake the all-consuming guilt he feels every time he thinks of that girl who won’t so much as allow him near her hospital room to apologize. As the months go by and the shame and loneliness festers, Cole begins to lose his grip on what once was important—college, his girlfriend, his future. His life. It’s not until Cole hits rock-bottom that he can begin to see another way out of his personal hell: forgiveness.
And there’s only one person who can give that to him…
Review
“The crushing pain in my chest now has little to do with my injuries. And it’s suffocating me.”
This book was a hard one to read and this review is just as hard to write. How does one rate something like this? As always KA Tucker’s writing is flawless and she captivated me right away. Having read Ten Tiny Breaths (as you should before you read this novella or any of the reviews for it) I knew what I was getting into and was emotionally prepared for it. That does not mean I like Cole or what he did. It is super hard to love a book and not love the person it is about. But at this point in Cole’s story you shouldn’t love him. Not only is he suffering from PTSD but also who he is after his actions. His decisions had repercussions that affected the lives of a lot of people dramatically
“Five people . . one survivor . . . That means . . . Six people are now dead. All because I didn’t hold up my end of the deal.”
Cole Reynolds was an attractive, smart, popular football player who made a bad decision. . . to drink when he was the designated driver. While he knew better than to drive after drinking his impaired judgment allowed him to believe that his closest friend, Sasha was sober enough when he told him he had stopped earlier. It is not long after Sasha, Cole and one other friend take off in their giant SUV that they collide with a small Audi carrying Kasey, her best friend, her boyfriend and her parents. Now all those who have read Ten Tiny Breaths know how that turned out. This story broke my heart. Things like this happen everyday, and while Cole was not driving he knows that his decision to drink while he was supposed to be the DD was the reason 6 people are dead and why Kasey’s life if forever altered.
“Did that smile survive?”
Cole’s sever depression leads him to become fixated on Kasey. How does one love a character who did all this? Deep down I love Cole and who he will grow to become but at this stage in his story my heart hurts for him and while I no where near hate him I cannot honestly say I love him either. However, Having read Ten Tiny Breaths first (YOU MUST and you will not regret it because that book is AMAZING) I am very happy to understand some of where his actions came from and watch him grow from the boy who inadvertently caused destruction in the lives of everyone around him into the man who helped heal! While this will never be an easy read and it is definitely not a romantic read I will say that for KA Tucker fans it is a MUST READ!
“I ponder what it would be like to have Kacey’s forgiveness. Would it lessen the burden of this weigh just a little? Would that be something too selfish to ask for?”
~miranda
