5 Smooches
Synopsis
Her bosom heaved at an alarming rate as his rough hand found its way down to her soft, yet wiry briar patch…
Can you say briar patch in a romance novel? What about meat sword? That’s what it is…a meat sword, right, all meaty and sword like, slaying through the inner dungeons of a woman’s dark desires. What about breasts? Do bosoms really heave?
God, I have no idea what happens when private parts touch.
I’m a virgin trying to write a romance novel and can’t seem to write past a sex scene thanks to my lack of experience.
My two best friends encourage me to drop the pen for a while and gain some real life practice through multiple dating facets such as blind dates, online profiles, and random hookups.
But losing my virginity is proving to be tougher than expected…
Review
“You need to drop the books, spread your legs, and get fucked, Rosie. If you have any chance of writing that book of yours, you need to experience the sensations firsthand.”
Well . . . after reading Virgin Romance Novelist my sides are KILLING me! I swear I don’t remember the last time I laughed out loud so much. From the moment I started this book my finger was busy highlighting one-liners and making notes of quotes I wanted to tell my co-blogger. If you are a fan of naïve heroines and some crazy antics than this is a book you won’t ant to miss.
“Note to self, google sex toy objects before using them.”
Rosie wants to ditch her job writing at a Cat magazine and finally with the support of her 2 roommates and best friends, Henry and Delany, write a romance novel. The one problem . . . she has ZERO experience in the sex department and really knows absolutely nothing about how it all goes down (pun untended). Home schooled till college and then scared to really get out of her shell Rosie is the definition of innocent and pure.
“Do not open your mouth is a dick comes flying at your face.”
In her quest to get more “experience” to help bring her novel to fruition, Rosie sets out to put herself out there and we get the glory of watching her dip her toes in the dating pool. Only things for Rosie never go as she hopes and hilarity ensues. But throughout each encounter her two friends are their to help her along, whether it be teaching her BJ techniques on a banana or taking the sacrifice to watch a little porn with her. It is this friendship that really sets the tone and is the highlight of the book. Rosie soon has to learn that while constantly putting herself out there is hard it is all so much better than being a hermit the rest of her life.
““Note to self: When people say dicks come in all shapes and sizes, they are not kidding.”
The writing was clean, witty, and the story flowed nicely. I found myself rooting for all her dates to fail and hoping she would finally realize who she was meant to be. While many authors attempt to write a romantic comedies that are both crass and sweet at the same time in my experience most don’t quite hit the nail on the head. But Meghan exceeded my expectations and
“Hey, don’t talk with you mouth full of dick,”
The Virgin Romance Novelist is my very first Meghan Quinn book and I can honestly say that I am very excited to start working through her backlog of books. If you enjoy laughing your socks off with a side of a love story that will have your heart clenching than this is a book you won’t want to miss!
~miranda
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